I wanted to say sorry. Because this feelings were so heavy that they were crashing down on me. I felt so suffocated.
At first, I thought these were feelings of infatuation but now has it became a crush of a fond towards him? I couldn't care less and all I could think of was just being hold by him.
So it was true of what William Shakespeare meant by "Desire of having is the sin of covetousness". I've committed something heinous.