Worrying... My mother starts to worry about me. I wonder what's wrong now, but it was just the problem that I had been sleeping more and more while the hours are getting longer and longer. I barely stays awake for less than 10 hours but went to bed again. This reminds me of something that I once told myself that what if one day would I be sleeping away and couldn't wake up? However personally I felt it's something impossible that will happen on me. The so called slept away and passed away cases were too rare to be heard.

I came across this interesting phrase said that humans wished death just to meet the death god, but I couldn't help myself but just kept on laughing at that phrase. Though the whole phrase sounded so ridiculous but yet it was so true than ever to see silly humans tried hard dying just to see this stupid fellow. Yes, that fellow draped itself with the black hood and holding a scythe, looks "emo" isn't it? "Emo", I don't actually know the meaning of this word but kind of know how it's being used whenever I heard this word which always came from a friend who likes to add the word "F***" in front of everything he says.

However if meeting this fellow means our souls going to be send to hell. All I could say that, nowadays humans, nope, young kids and teenagers were hoping to go hell as what was in their minds were all thoughts that hell could be a nice place. A nice place? To have fun? Perhaps, maybe but certainly probably not.

Not talking about death nor has the habit of talking about it. I couldn't get it, why the word "death" could be mentioned daily just by anybody. Why this word is mentioned so easily and yet nobody thinks is something that brings miseries. I just wonder why this word will always appear anywhere and yet kids feels it's cool and fun to say it. Even though is such an easy word being used daily but till the day when they knew they going to die, they were there screaming and crying to be saved. I was once devastated when I remembered someone I loved so much asked me to die. I don't want to take things from granted like she always did. I don't know how long I could still hold on without being torn into pieces. I won't ask for death that easily before I finished all the promises that I made.

There's this sudden thought that flashed through my mind. "What I want to do most of all?", and I kept thinking all these while. I was told before that being alive, there's bound to be a reason and purpose. At first when I wrote my life statement, all I wrote was what I wanted to be once I entered the society. It's more of my ambition rather than what I really wanted to do. Now came to think of it, maybe I just felt liked wanted to go around the world, to listen. However what to listen? Maybe songs? Musics? Mysterious stories? These were all in my mind now. Honestly, I loved music so much, but nowadays most of the musics were stained those songs which truly warms your heart and touches your soul were extremely rare.

If there's this one day, perhaps just one day, I hope to have a tea party with my soul mates. Rather than calling them friends, I more of prefer soul mates. Having a quiet tea party, in a shelter, with the surroundings of mountains, trees, fountain and full bloom flowers. As together we viewed the natural, listen to the birds chirping away, looking at the fishes swimming around in the crystal clear water and watching the withering petals dancing in the midair which later fell on the ground that made the floor liked a flower carpet. Everyone of us happily chatting away about our past and present, drinking top grade tea and having tradition snacks. Making short sentimental poets, and playing music using chinese classical instruments. Looks like I made myself sounded quite old now. I wanted to have the last laugh for living on this hell prison that I was born in.