Days has passed so as weeks. It's getting real hard on me that I still can't forget those memories that I shared with him. Beautiful but recalling it yet that painful. Tears could be still unbearable but growing stronger each day, everything seems so nothing in my eyes. I might have gain more strength and get stronger. Perhaps strong but yet that vulnerable. Am i that weak?

So hard to let go, even do look like as if I'm so happy however I could wish everyday I'll still be filled with happiness. It's just that pinch of despair that let my heart aches. Though my world now could be just simply black and white which filled with emptiness, hoped one day I'll let rainbow seen in that black sky. Someone told me, feelings are just attitudes shown by ordinary beings, just so much so I wished I could look beyond these attitudes. That pain, is like a virus, invading my body, felt as though my heart is being engulfed by them, just so empty. Sleeping in my room on a bed, just that empty and big. A lonely world and hollow.

Once in awhile, I just wished, I can't hear. So I won't know those words said by people hurting me. I just wished, I can't see. So I won't be able to see everyone's face, thus I won't know what's face expression. I just wished, I can't talk. So I won't say anything to hurt anyone.

My life is getting lonely, however I just realised there are so many kind of loneliness. I'm so confused. But I just felt blessed at times cause I have friends that care so much about me. I find myself so sinful, that unforgiveable because I couldn't see their care. I'm that worse person.


It's been some time that I haven't blog. Enter such a entry that not everyone is able to understand is so ridiculous. School will be starting in few hours, hoope this whole new semester, life will be better for me.