Friday, April 28, 2006
~.++Raining is just that simply innocent++.~
Yesterday I had missed the chance to enter a entry, I slept at 6pm and wakes up 6am today. Slept fpr 12 hours and am still tired. Wounds are still hurting as the same. Yesterday morning, i didn't sleep cause I was playing maple, thus I didn't miss any lectures! Just before stepping out of the house and going for classes, the sky started to rain heavily. Wondering should I go to lecture? Hesitation still exist within me even when I already in the lift and on the way to school.
On the way to the bus stop with my umbrella under that heavy rain. I recalled many old sweet memories that I was young. I saw school kids going to school with or without their parents and many more. My mind links me to many of those rain memories. Those memories were rather innocent, like my first small umbrella during kindergarten, went home running in the rain with wei jun, fall sick the next day, is just that pure sweetness makes me smile the whole way to school even though the rain wet my pants and jacket. Under the rain with a small umbrella, heavy rain drops fall on the umbrella makes that natural melodies. Fresh and cooling air blewing on me. Just loved that if every morning the sky is able to rain. Even tiredness is able to wash away.
While in the bus stop waiting for bus, I saw a girl around my age was waiting bus with her boyfriend. Well, I guess Singapore is getting more and more open thus showing intimacy in public isn't much a big deal. Well, I do get envy sometimes. Was sweet that her boyfriend send her to the bus stop early in the rainy morning. Block her from those rain drops coming in to the shelter. Haha, that was sweet isn't it. Perhaps that's so call affectionate?
Today is the day I have the longest break, 4 hours in school and yet nothing to do. So in the end I decided to go TM and get Nigel's birthday present. I shopped around and looked around. I went in to a shop and saw many cute soft toys, saw something I liked which is a cow soft toy, I should say it just looked so cute, wished I could have bought that home. I have been cow craze since sec 3. I just wished so much so I'm already old enough to own a house and live by own and decorate my house with loads of cows stuff but also everything is just black and white. Maybe poeple around me might find me "No Life". I went to Toys'R'us, I should say kids nowadays are getting more and more fortunate, cause there are loads of toys, and I shopped until I'm confused wonder what I should buy for Nigel. In the end I still decided to get him a set of small racing cars. On the way back to school, my leg was injured. Well, not that serious but there are scratches on the skin even I'm wearing jeans. Just an accident, but bruises can be seen.
I didn't slept last night so I was very tired. I took a bus at Tampanies Interchange. Fortunately is bus 23, I fall asleep in the bus and in the end, the bus went 2 routines. So I had fallen asleep for 2 hours. However I still manage to alight at my school bus stop and didn't miss any tutorials.
Guess I should stop here, cause my post is getting too long... >.< byeeee....
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
~.++Big day++.~
Actually want to post 2 entries but I guess got to combine it, whether is long or short, to read or not to read is your own preference, don't complain it's long, if not I'll stuffed your mouth with BAGUA! Haha, copy sha sha...
Yesterday was playing maple, finally I'm level 62, felt boring now, everyday got to train like hell, have to scarifice my sleep for it! Slept at 4am this morning and woke up at 7.30am, sigh, I knew I'm going to miss my first lecture. Missed ApFS, if my CP know, I'm dead man... Today is a big day cause I'm going for an excursion. Can say it's excursion however is an exhibition. It's an world trade business exhibition. I got to wear formal business wear. Sigh! Actually didn't wear that jacket but in the end I still wore it cause outside expo hall is raining! And it's a freaking heavy rain, so cold inside the hall, fortunately I have that jacket, put it on makes me felt warmer... Now look too formal, like a total lawyer! -_-lll diaoz...
Crack some jokes with huai wen, yin xia, xin ru aka jackfruit and xue fei today. Saying some sarcastic words with huai wen, saying he wear until so black today. Haha... Told alot of cold jokes with yin xia, jackfruit and xuefei. They laugh till like nobody's business! Talking about jokes, I got funny but yet sarcastic remarks from Jia Wen, cause the morning when I arrive to campus, she say, I looked like a lawyer! Hurhurhur.... She looks like an old old teacher, muahahahahaha... And May looks like a seductive secretary while huinee looks like a sale manager! Talking about me look like lawyer, sad man. I chose Singapore law as my cds, in the end whole class only me studying law. Sigh! Yesterday was the lecture for law, I totally pontang it. Tomorrow is the tutorial, I do feel alittle afraid now, wonder how that tutor and my classmates will be like. Scary... T.T sob sob... Lolx!
We went around the exhibition! Man, it's the first time I'm going to such an formal and serious exhibtion, got to wear so formal if not security guard will stopped us from entering! Exhibition damn big, they extend from Hall 1 to Hall 6! Walked until our feet so sore and tired. Then sat at the spectator's seat looking at the food carving competition. These chefs' are so artistic, carving out flowers, dragon, pagoda, so B-E-A-U-Tiful. So many things to see and so many new food products to try on. Xue Fei ate alot. Haha, I'm more interested in wine and alcohol stuff.
Talking about alcoholic stuff, I want to COMPLAIN!!! THOO WEI QIANG AND LIU HUAI WEN, YOU GUYS MAKE ME LOST THE CHANCE TO DRINK RED WINE, COCKTAIL AND CHAMPAIGN!!! -_-lll zzz.... Even alesia, shu jie and weiting got to drink champaign! Is 1 glass of champaign ok! Sigh, in the end, I only drank Sakae! But at least better than nothing. Is a rose flavoured Sakae. The aroma of Rose still lingers in the wine, that pure taste of rose and rice wine, I'm unable to forget man!
The hall is so big, and we are wearing high heel shoes! Sheesh, my feet is now aching like hell. Pain pain pain!!! T.T sob sob... However I had a chance to see all world wide red wines and white wines. There are so many different kinds of grapes to makes wines! Able to differentiate the format of an individual kitchen and a international kitchen. Sigh! I think tomorrow wake up, all forget already. So sleepy! Tired man...
I also went to look at furnitures! I have been thinking about moving out. That thought is exist, had yet to be forgotten once and for all. I want to move out and live alone. Saw different kinds of cups and glasses, guess I'll buy some or order to make some glasses and put it in my new home? I'm imagining it now. Cause I want a mini bar in my house! Champaign, ice wine, red and white wine, absolut vodka, dry gin, bacardi, tequila, martel, xo, remmin martin and even johnny walker! I saw simmon's brand bed! Haha, that reminds me that funny commercial where the wife hit her husband head with a frying pan! I saw machines, CHOCOLATE FONDUE! Argh, that must buy! I love chocolates, I need that chocolate fountain machine! Especially during christmas celebration, I can use that and invite friends to my place for a desert feast...
Hmmm, now got to save up money cause I want to buy PSP! At first felt like buying iPod nano, till xuefei told me that, why waste money buy apple. Told me that might as well invest money on a PSP, can play games, and even MP3, furthermore the prices are almost the same. Come to think of it, yep, what she say was right! Cause no games, I'll die of boredom and stress! Hope by the time I save up money I can get a white PSP, or a black one. But most of my friends said that not many people uses the white PSP. Hopefully I could get hold of a white PSP. I need a 2G memory card also, perhaps bigger than 2G! So I can use my PSP. If not with their given memory card, is not enough to save what I want. Wondering got any games that I can play? Haha, hope they have games from xbox! Especially Halo 2, Fatal Frame 2, DOA 2, Need For Speed Underground 2 and Brothers In Arms! Conker also can, haha, that is a funny kid and chaotic game! It's damn chaos, I can play like crazy when I can PK my friends when we play multi-players!
Ok, I suppose I shall stopped here, entry too long! Au Revoir!
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
~.++Today is just today++.~
Life is getting more and more painful. I find myself struggling in pain and days just passed so slowly. The air around me is getting tinner than ever, and it's harder to breathe now. So suffocating.
Today I just came back from tutorial, since it's first week of the whole new semester, the timetable is not well planned. No labs, no praticals and some don't even have tutorials. Having a 4 hours break while staying school alone just makes me feel that I'm getting even emptier inside even the atmosphere in campus now is full freshmens. I'm 2nd year already, time flies. Just like I always said years passed as a moment. A year is just a moment. Why do I still find time passed as slow as ever to me now? That slow, just so slow is just as though torturing me.
This morning on the way to campus, saw MingSong. The bus is a double deck, and he came to the upper deck. The upper deck seats are about to fully occupied by students from my school. MingSong saw me, I think he remembered me. Timid as he always is, don't even dare to share the seat with me, while he rather share with the girl seating infront of me. I suppose, I'm that scary enough to share a seat with a ex-schoolmate? Am I frightening? Am I scary? Am I a horrible person? I don't know. I have been wondering. If I'm not someone who is bad, why I don't seem to have any friends?
Having alot of friends are just empty words said by most of us. Cause "friends" is a word to generalise people around us. It's just an empty word. Perhaps this theory applies only to me. I have a few friends, and I suppose should be able to count with the 10 fingers that we had. Maybe one day I do realise that such a insecure person like me, actually in the end don't even have friends. Not even close buddies. I'm just too insecure, trust no one except myself. I guess I'm not fit to have any friends. Today in the bus, surrounded by lots of youngsters, felt as though I'm so left out. I felt I'm already that old. I just couldn't catch up anymore, and that left behind and lonely feelings lurks into my heart.
I just felt that painful for today. That pain, a can't be erased off pain running in me.
Monday, April 24, 2006
~.++A whole new start!++.~
Days has passed so as weeks. It's getting real hard on me that I still can't forget those memories that I shared with him. Beautiful but recalling it yet that painful. Tears could be still unbearable but growing stronger each day, everything seems so nothing in my eyes. I might have gain more strength and get stronger. Perhaps strong but yet that vulnerable. Am i that weak?
So hard to let go, even do look like as if I'm so happy however I could wish everyday I'll still be filled with happiness. It's just that pinch of despair that let my heart aches. Though my world now could be just simply black and white which filled with emptiness, hoped one day I'll let rainbow seen in that black sky. Someone told me, feelings are just attitudes shown by ordinary beings, just so much so I wished I could look beyond these attitudes. That pain, is like a virus, invading my body, felt as though my heart is being engulfed by them, just so empty. Sleeping in my room on a bed, just that empty and big. A lonely world and hollow.
Once in awhile, I just wished, I can't hear. So I won't know those words said by people hurting me. I just wished, I can't see. So I won't be able to see everyone's face, thus I won't know what's face expression. I just wished, I can't talk. So I won't say anything to hurt anyone.
My life is getting lonely, however I just realised there are so many kind of loneliness. I'm so confused. But I just felt blessed at times cause I have friends that care so much about me. I find myself so sinful, that unforgiveable because I couldn't see their care. I'm that worse person.
It's been some time that I haven't blog. Enter such a entry that not everyone is able to understand is so ridiculous. School will be starting in few hours, hoope this whole new semester, life will be better for me.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
~.++Updates and updates++.~
Yoz, how's everyone, hardly blog here, do I?
Sorry about that...
However I'll update you guys shortly! Please stay tune to this channel...
